I fought hard for my grades for the last 5 semesters,
so hard that I forgot all about my health.
After that long fight, I can't believe I now still have to fight against all that health problems that follows.

You might think I was stupid, thus ending up like this.
I can't argue that I'm not, but my only rationale is because
I am not smart, thus I had only to put in double the effort, to achieve that minimal result.
However, for that much effort I had put in, I'm now too tired, to fight for my own health.

I can't describe how disappointed I was, when I found out I still weigh 37.5kg
I had a heavy dinner the night before, and the weight was taken after lunch..
The feeling of trying to stuff myself even when I do not feel like eating at all is disgusting,
and struggling to prevent myself from puking after every swallow is sick.
And after all that, all I weigh was less than what I thought I should be.

After that giddy and out of breathe moment on my way home yesterday,
my motivation level to fight for my health dipped further.
If even the doctors can't stand the number of problems I have,
how much longer can I stand myself?

I ought to be put to sleep.